Sometimes you need that special cup of coffee. That special blend, with a unique aroma. The cup of coffee that fills your need just perfectly.
The kind of coffee that tastes like a mixture of rancid horse piss and bile, and kicks like a match brought too close when you’re checking if there is some petrol left at the bottom of the tank.
The kind of coffee that rots your tongue and brings your brain close to enlightenment, giddy as a jack-rabbit on crack cocaine and amphetamines.
Sometimes I wonder how they actually brew this kind of coffee. Even dead drunk, using soiled pantyhoses and a rattlesnake, I couldn’t make such a tribute to the pointlessness of human endeavor.
This might be the worst and best coffee I’ve ever tasted.
-Still a bastard-