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Death by Suicide #24
May 2013
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May10
anger

Return of the Pineapple

by Kita-Jin on May 10, 2013 at 6:42 pm

Joy to the world, ’cause sin is here! Rejoice! Rejoice!
Explosions have a nice tendency to escalate in the proximity of alcohol, a fact often forgotten that should not be forgotten. Also, elephants smell funny after a few months. Communication with the Death Star has ceased and we have no idea of what condition the core is in; probably near total meltdown, so it’s most likely time to head for the Enterprise and get the fuck out of Dodge on a Space-Pony.

This doesn’t make too much sense and if you are able to make some sense out of it, please let me know, then immediately call your psychiatrist; this is no laughing matter.

It isn’t easy when arguments get out of hand, especially when you end up doing something incredibly stupid, but I mean, isn’t actually half the fun? The blowback, the katharsis, the feeling of finally being done with X-amount of times shit and nonsense? Yes, I finally got out of that cellphone plan. But I did have to sign over the property rights to my genetic code, but that only means I don’t have to pay for them myself, they’ll be Nokia’s problem. Or I had a huge conflict of interest with Poland over their foreign exchange programs. Something like that.

 

Still a bastard and loving it.

 

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Mar06

Strippers and cigars

by Kita-Jin on March 6, 2013 at 1:33 am

I have to admit this, I truly have to get this of my chest. Said chest being hairy and masculine. So, my admition… I’m spending my second night this year watching Sex & the goddamned city.

In my defence, it’s my roommates choice. But I have come to a realization due to these two nights. I need a cigar, some vodka and a couple of strippers. I miss those days. I truly do. A good lapdance is a thing to truly miss. Especially those times when it was just before heading to the bar. A few times to meet said dancer’s boyfriend. Life was a bit more, what should I say, a bit more interesting those days.

Waking up surrounded by filthy beautiful people after a whorible drunken binge, not quite being able to look each other in the eye due to vague memories of the previous day and night.

Is this growing up or just growing older? Quite frankly, I don’t think I approve. Booze and sex has become too complicated. Some change is not welcome; unlike underwear after a week long drinking binge. That’s a quite refreshing and welcome change, just ask my next door neighbor and the bartenders that had to put up with our antics. Poor souls, well, except the bartenders; they mostly joined in, both before, during and after their shift. Sometimes all three at the same time. Christ, how did any of them keep their jobs? For that matter, how did the fucking bar avoid getting closed? The owner must either be one scary dude or have some serious dirt on someone in authority. Bit of both is my guess…

Now where was I? Oh yes, I miss lapdances. But don’t we all…?

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Feb26

Cervantes

by Kita-Jin on February 26, 2013 at 12:33 am

Jesus H. Christ, tea is a poor substitute for rum and Don Quixote is a poor substitute for… well, fun things…

The book is a masterpiece, no doubt about that, but it’s fucking nowhere near fun. Especially when you “have” to read it. Everything sucks when you HAVE to do it… Ok, maybe tea isn’t so bad after all.

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Feb25

All The Stupid Things

by Kita-Jin on February 25, 2013 at 2:56 am

Merry Shazbot and to all a good Wankza! It is in the moments between the coffee breaks and the cigarettes that life creeps in. The throbbing, hungry bass rythm of being a-fucking-live! Forget that shit…

Boredom rules and the coffeebreaks grow longer. Would be more fun if you turned up the radio and made the coffees irish, but when you do that alone 9 times out of 10 you’re an alcoholic with poor taste in music. Seriously, who listens to the radio these days?

Is there a reason for why it’s your closest friends and loved ones that really really drive you insane? I mean, A+ for imagination, but I don’t think stabbing her in the right eye with a corkscrew will amount to much, at least not constructivewise. I know, I know, she drives you insane, but she’s a good person. I think so to.

Fuck, I’ve lost track of my narrative voices. I can’t remember if I agreeing or disagreeing with myself. Maybe both?

Ah well, at least I made cookies tonight.

image

I’m such a fucking housewife. Or was that fucking a housewife? Can’t remember if I actually tapped her, at least not after she got married…

Aaaaand we’re back on track, things are boring; people are boring; the summer needs booze, beautiful scantly clad women and a hungry, throbbing bass… Also, the fucking summer can’t come soon enough…

image

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May21

Hail to the Dingo!

by Kita-Jin on May 21, 2012 at 2:13 pm

 

Christ on a Crackhead’s cracker! I don’t know if anyone else has noticed this… But fuck yeah, summer is here! And we all know what that means. It means life will become a paradise of sun, scantly clad young ladies and lazy days in the park with a “few” beers. You simply can’t go wrong with summer. Unless you live in a rainy hellhole; yeah, you know who you are. You don’t realize how long it’s actually been since the last time summer was here until the next one actually is here and that doesn’t actually make sense. Except if you’re really, really bored and stuck inside while there is the possibility of sitting outside in the sun with beer and happy happy fun times. Just a few more weeks of finals; then it’s time to praise God for inventing the mini-skirt.

 

On another note; I will seriously kill every single bird I can get my hands on. Finally about to fall asleep on Sunday morning when a fucking sparrow invades my apartment and shocks the sleep right out of me! Motherfucking little bastard… Not the Sunday that I ordered!

 

In the meantime; enjoy the song and hit that keyboard like you’d hit the cheerleader… Well, maybe not quite like that, I’m pretty certain you’ll mess up your keyboard if you hit it like that.

-Still a bastard and loving every single minute of it-

 

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